Sagehen Mesa - Season 3, Episode 12- Cliff "Moleman" Mahon and the Snowflake Day Heist

 Cliff

I know you haven't heard from me much lately. That's because I've been focused on my most recent project. 

I learned from my tomb raidin' adventures that folks really go for all that artsy farty stuff from long ago, and they even like those "art pieces" my ex-wife and Culpepper's ol' lady make. I've never been much of an art appreciator - it just seems like a thing for sissies, but some of those items can bring in a lot of money in some of those big cities. This town has no banks or other places that house valuables. The closest thing we have is that Art Barn place, and it's always full of people. I know because I've scoped it out off and on over the years. But I've formulated a plan the just might work. I'll need Culpepper's assistance though. I hope he doesn't mess things up.

I enticed the young man with the amenities of my recently completed lair and told him in no uncertain terms that once he's in the organization, there's no leaving it. I even told him if he helped me with some jobs, he could work on the periphery and distance himself from the more hands-on aspects of the job. I also offered to make him my right-hand man and give him a generous cut of the spoils. 

Now that my plan is in place, it's time to put it into action. I called Culpepper up and told him what I needed him to do . . . . 

******

"Hi boss. I thought you might have changed your mind on the project since I haven't heard from you lately. Things have gotten a bit complicated here. My oldest daughter is all grown up now.

Instead of sneaking into our room late at night with one ghost story or another, she's gone to the police department and taken a job as a deputy! This makes it rather awkward for me to participate in your plans. 

Yes, I know that's not your problem and my family issues aren't your concern. Are you sure you don't have someone else who can take care of this for you? You don't. I know, I know, once a member of the Mahon organization, always a member. What exactly do you need me to do?"

"You want me to start a fire and create a distraction on Snowflake Day? Where do you suggest I do this?

The bistro? I don't know boss. There might be a lot of people there celebrating with dinner out.

Maybe I can create a distraction somewhere a little more remote and not likely to have any visitors."

"Do what you want, Culpepper, but don't screw things up for me or there will be trouble."

"You can count on me, boss. I gotta go now, my daughter needs the bathroom." 

******

Paul

I don't know how I ever got myself into this mess! At least I managed to convince my family that I work as a "sanitation engineer" down at the junkyard, so they expect me to be down here a lot of the time. 

I've been putting a lot of time in on making explosive devices. Despite all the YouTube videos I've consumed lately, this isn't as easy as it seems. There's a lot of trial and error.

 Cliff has more knowledge in the engineering aspect of things and has given me some pointers, but still I haven't quite got the thing figured out. He's started getting a little nervous that I won't have my end of the plan in place when he needs it.

In the mean time, Cliff has been scoping out the Art Barn. He says he was nearly caught by Sheriff Rae, but he outsmarted her. 

In the end, I managed to get my part of the bargain completed. I decided to detonate a few things down on one of the less frequented beaches. 

I felt the safest place to be when the timer went off was in the water. Man, was it cold!

After blowing up the picnic table, I thought I'd better blow up the grill for good measure. I can't wait until spring when the flowers arrive and all this snow is gone!

Perhaps I should have chosen a different beach. I just realized that Sheriff Lang has recently married Cliff's sister and is living with her in the green house up the hill! Why didn't I think of that?! Well, what's done is done. 

Sure enough, by the time I got home, Sheriff Lang was waiting for me. 

"What has gotten into you, Culpepper? What has possessed you to blow up public property? Are you stupid?"

"Well, to be fair, Sheriff, that picnic table was mighty rickety, and the rusty old grill was a health hazard. They both needed to be replaced anyway, and the scrap from them belongs in the junkyard."

"Well, I guess you can pitch in an pay for the replacement of those items!"

After he left, I couldn't help myself but rant about the police and the fine they gave me. I'm embarrassed that my daughter Dara joined them!

Dara was mortified. She threw an ice skating party the following day and invited Sheriff Lang out to try and smooth things over. 

He told her that my behavior had no effect on his view of her as an employee, but she should expect me to get a heavier penalty if I don't cease and desist my detonations on public property. Dara reports that Sheriff Lang is quite an accomplished skater. 

*****

Cliff

Well, what do you know, Culpepper came through! With the sheriff distracted, I put my part in the plan into action. The Art Barn attracts all kinds of people at all hours of the day and night, but I figured on Snowflake Day, everyone would be home with their families. Just to be sure, I changed their "Visitors Welcome" sign into a "No Visitors Allowed" thinking that would keep everyone away. 

Culpepper told me his wife had taken to sculpting some of the locals out of ice at the Art Barn, and that she's so good the ice doesn't melt anymore. This one looks like that old dame, Guadalupe Coy. 

You'd think she'd have chosen a better outfit to wear if she was going to be immortalized in ice. I managed to sell it on the black market for 700 simoleons. No accounting for taste I guess. Well I thought I'd have the place to myself, but wouldn't you know it, the Whitings who own the joint noticed some lights on over here. 

There were two of them, the father and daughter, apparently on their way back from the festival when they decided to check things out. I had to apply my super power of boring them to the point that they passed out, so I could carry out my plan. Unfortunately, this strategy didn't accomplish my goal. I got the old man passed out and started working on his kid, but by the time she passed out, the old man had recovered. I told them I was just looking to return a gift given to me that day and would return tomorrow to take care of it when they were open. I pretended to leave, but managed to nab a few items outside before I made my retreat. 

There was an ice sculpture of my ex-wife outside, but I couldn't imagine anyone wanting such a thing, so I left that. However, I always liked the cow cut-out over on the dairy side. I may no know art, but I know what I like. 

I also helped myself to this fruity looking thing called "MAGnificient Pole" which had a bunch of greenery wrapped around a pole. My total haul:

Ice statue of Guadalupe Coy $700

Metal sculpture $850

MAGnificient Pole $885

and Cow $122

$2557 in total. That should cover a couple payment for my new car.

 (I kept the cow cutout and placed it in my throne room since no one seems to share my appreciation of it, and the metal sculpture is in the storage room waiting to be shipped off.)

Happy Snowflake Day