Sagehen Mesa - Season 3 - Episode 4 - Paul Culpepper's Dilemma

 Hello, Paul Culpepper speaking. I'm in a predicament and hope I can confide in you about it. I guess we all have our own weaknesses, and those who know how to manipulate can take advantage of them. I'm not trying to make excuses, but just explain the moral dilemma I am trapped in. 

I have recently turned my back on the criminal organization that I was lured into. The stint in jail was an eye-opener.

The incident nearly cost me my marriage, . . .

. . . but after a little time living apart, Holli decided to take me back. Then my father passed away, and during the estate sale, who should show up but my old boss Cliff "Moleman" Mahon. He said he has heard I had quit "the business," and that no one is allowed to quit. Once you're in you stay in. He was a bit frightening. 

He said I could lay low and take another job if I wanted, but the day would come when I got a phone call from him, and I'd better answer if I knew what was good for me.

Well, things were quiet for several months, and I was hoping he had forgotten about me. I was still looking for a decent job that would pay the bills, but  I was enjoying life on the straight and narrow, spending time with my family, . . . 

. . . when my phone rang. It was him! I excused myself to a room where I wouldn't be disturbed. 

"Hello, sir."

"Hello, young Culpepper. It's time you started becoming more active in the organization. Things have changed lately and I will be needed a clever man like you. You know where the old meeting place is. Go there, enter the phone booth, and it will take you to our new meeting place. Make sure you show up or you will regret it!"

What could I do? I went to the old meeting place. 

Sure enough, there in the cave where we used to meet stood a phone booth. I stepped inside, and noticed the lever marked "Junkyard." I pulled the lever. 

Things started to happen, machinery whirred, the booth spun, and it felt like the floor dropped out from beneath me. The next thing I knew, I was in an underground chamber. What kind of sorcery is this?!?

Next to the door frame of the room I landed in was a message taped to the wall. "Welcome to my new lair, Culpepper, make yourself at home. I will be with you shortly." 

Wow! So this is the new meeting place? What an upgrade!

Maybe it will pay off to be on friendly terms with this man. 

*******

Hi all. It's me, Cliff "Moleman" Mahon, and I think I might have outsmarted myself. I'm not sure those lame brained minions of mine will be able to savvy this alternate entrance without assistance. Oh, well, at least it will keep the nosy paparazzi away if I'm lucky. 

Now where was that secret lever? 

Found it! 

Dang it! The mechanism is stuck! I'll need to get some WD-40 after this meeting. 

Well, that's one hurdle. Now where is that book lever? Oh, here it is. 

Welcome to the storage room. 

I think I hear young Culpepper in the sauna. 

"Welcome to the underground headquarters, Culpepper. What do you think? Pretty nice, right?"

"It's amazing sir, you've really outdone yourself. This must have cost a fortune to build."

"Yes, lucky for me, I found a lot of treasure during my travels abroad."

"So, are you ready to embrace your destiny?"

"This is all very tempting, sir, but I've just got my family back together, and I really don't think a life of crime is for me. With all due respect sir, I'm a family man with two impressionable daughters, I can't engage in criminal activities. It's just not proper."

Now see here, Culpepper! This isn't optional! We can do this the easy way or the hard way, but you are not leaving the organization! 

"You're getting my ire up, young man. Have you seen the rest of the lair yet?" 

"I want no more nay-saying until you see the full picture. Why don't you take a little tour while I take a few minutes to calm down. Be back in about 20 minutes and we'll talk."

He'll come around. I just know it. 

*******

Well, that was intense. What's a guy to do? He said to look around, so I did. 

There's a bathroom. It all seems to be in order, but I noticed the toilet clogged when I used it. I had to spend some time fixing that little issue. 

Whoa! This must be the planning room. The bar's a nice touch. What are all those gizmos over there?

I must say, I'm impressed. 

"So what do you think, Culpepper?"

"It's very impressive sir, I love the command center, and the bar, and the planning table."

"It's the illegal part I'm having trouble with."

"Well, it's good to have a conscience, I guess. But trust me, the more you engage in crime, the easier it becomes, and the better you get at it. I know that little jail stint got you all nervous, but I had something similar in my early days too. I see a lot of potential in you, young man. You could soon be my second in command if you play your cards right."

"Wow, that means a lot to me sir."

(I must admit the old man was winning me over. My own father never seemed to take this much interest in me, leaving me to be raised by my grandparents. What I would have given to have him put this kind of faith in me.)

"I appreciate your faith in me, sir. I'll definitely give this some thought."

"Yeah, yeah, think it over. I will be calling you in a few days with a job for you to do. Make sure you answer the call!"

"It doesn't have to do with beating anyone up, does it? I don't think I can stomach that kind of work."

"There's a lot of value in having some muscle, but no, I don't think that's the job for a guy like you. I was thinking more of a decoy sort of thing. You know, cause a distraction somewhere in town that will draw the authorities' attention, so the rest of us can get our job done."

"Well, maybe that won't be so bad," I thought.

As I left for the phonebooth, I realized there was one door down the hallway that I hadn't opened yet.

"Oh my God! This guy's an egomaniac!"

Moleman Mahon is full of surprises. He's a bit terrifying. 

"Time to go, Culpepper. You're dismissed. Keep your phone close."

Whoa, that was intense. I'd better get on home now. 

I made it home in time to have supper with my family. They asked me where I went all dressed up, and I explained I had a job interview. I got a job at the junkyard.

Holli didn't seem too impressed. 

"You mean you're going to work with garbage all day?"

"In a manner of speaking, I guess so," I said. 

Ronda, bless her, knows it's important to have some money coming in. 

"My father, the garbage man," Dara snarked.

"I believe the proper title is sanitation engineer," Holli corrected, "and it's a very important job. Someone has to do it."

"Yeah," Ronda stated, "it helps the environment, doesn't it Daddy."

"Yes, honey. If we correctly manage our trash, we can keep our lakes and ponds clean and full of fish, so you can enjoy catching them. 

I grabbed a plate as the girls worked on their homework. 

"I'm proud of you for taking the job, honey," Holli said.

"Well, I love you all, and want to take good care of my family. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do."

I hope she never finds out the real story.