Part 14 - Cliff's Scheme

 

So I got to thinkin' as I savored my peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I've contributed a lot to this buzzberry enterprise, and I should be gettin' more compensation than I'm gettin'. This occurred to me when I was over at Trever's house the other day. 

See, Trever's only job is to distract the new sheriff lady in town from our little project. In other words, while I'm breakin' my back drilling the tunnel system, he's romancing a chick. 

They've been dating, and he's sendin' her gushy letters that women always eat up. Meanwhile, I'm crawlin' round in the rocks and dirt, putting my life on the line if one of those tunnels caves in on me. His share of the profits should be significantly lower than mine. 

I was over at his house the other day, and just thought I'd mention my contribution so he might appreciate the fact that I'm justified in getting a larger cut once I convince the boss lady of the fact. 

"Hey there, partner in crime. How ya doin'?"

"Listen here Trever, we're both adults here, so I'm just gonna say it. I just wanted you to know that I do appreciate your contribution to our enterprise. But you also know, that I'm putting in a lot more hours and a lot more physical labor to make this thing happen. You understand? This wouldn't be a reality if it weren't for my gem mining equipment and efforts. So you see, it would only make sense for me to have a larger cut of the profit," I explained. 

"Well I don't care if you have enough gem-mining equipment to tunnel to China, you knew the agreement when we brought you on. Lori gets 40% and you and I each get 30%. We both have different skill sets, but none of this would happen if we aren't all doing our part! My skill just happens to be romancing the ladies. You're just too abrasive to do what I do." 

"You'd better watch yourself Trev, those are fightin' words! Don't make me open a can of whoop-ass on you. You've got to keep that pretty face of yours if you want to bag the women." 

 

"Oh, come on man, your wouldn't punch this face, would you? It would put a hitch in our plans!"

"Cliff, you're not being a team player. I'm sure Lorie will see right through you."

"We'll see about that. I'm having a meeting at my place so we can plan out the operation come spring. If I were you, I'd show up!"

It turns out, Trever did NOT show up. And his reason? "I don't feel like coming over right now." The pretty boy is yella if you ask me. 

So I whipped up a stack of my famous peanut butter an jelly sandwiches and Lori and I sat down to make plans for spring. 

"Listen here, Lorie. I invited Trever to this meeting, and as you can plainly see, he's a no-show. He couldn't even give me a good reason for not coming, only that he didn't feel like it. I'm thinking the boy might be more of a liability than an asset. I think we should re-negotiate our original terms and pay out should be based on how much each member contributes, don't you think? Now you are in charge of the farming, and I'm responsible for the transport to the coast. Pretty boy Trever is just around to distract the lady cop from the operation. I really think he should have a smaller cut since he's taking a smaller risk."

 

"So what you're saying is you think you should have a bigger take in our overall profits, am I right? I'll have to crunch some numbers and think on that," she said. "It's getting cold in here, let's adjourn to your house, shall we? You said your kid was out with his girlfriend, right?"

"Don't use that computer! It belongs to my boy. I don't want any of this tracing back to him, and I don't want him to find out about our operation. I've already told him the far shed is off-limits. We need to settle this thing about Trever."

I swear the boy's a liability. 

"Say we cut his take down to 20%. It's still enough that he won't turn us in to his cop girlfriend, right? The we could split the remainder evenly."

"But Cliff, I'm already getting 40%. What advantage do I have by going with your plan and upsetting the boat? You agreed to 30 % when you joined up. Don't go getting greedy now." Lorie replied. "Now I might be convinced to reconsider if you were to contribute a teensy bit more as incentive."

"You mean helping with the planting in the spring?"

"No silly, I was thinking more along the lines of what Trever is doing for the sheriff, you could do for me."

"Ma'am! You're a married woman. What's more, you're married to the only friend I have. I'm a lot of things, but I won't betray a friend by cheating with his wife!" 

Luckily, boring people to death is my superpower. When she comes to, she might just forget about wanting me. This is how I keep all the bothersome women from following me around. 

While Lorie was out cold, I happened to glance out the kitchen window, and who do you think I saw jogging past the house? Yep. It was Trever. He must have been too yella to knock on the door. 

The next day while delivering a bribe to city hall, I ran into Lorie's husband Brock in the library. He seems to be none the wiser that his wife came on to me the previous night. Far be it for me to bring it up. 

"Oh, seriously Tess, this is a public place! I have just as much right to be here as you do."